The Connecticut Elder Law Blog

Loneliness and the Elderly

I often visit the Connecticut Senior Information website, which acts as a hub of important web-based information for seniors here in the Nutmeg State, and recently I ran across this thoughtful musing on loneliness and the elderly: Download Loneliness.doc.  Unfortunately, there is no author provided.

This writing seems to assume a middle-aged audience and asks the reader to project forward to the future when the young kids you raised have struck out on their own to raise their own families, you are no longer working and you have reached a point where visits from friends are few and far-between because they can't get out easily or they have departed the earth altogether.  The result: a deep sense of isolation and loneliness.

I appreciated the insight this writing provides since my wife and I are deep in the throes of raising three energetic young boys with their soccer games, cub scouts, educational issues and trying to keep the household at least somewhat in order.  Oh yes, there's running the law practice as well!  This leaves precious little time for visiting my parents, despite the fact that they are less than an hour away.  Just making a phone call is a bit of a task since the 2 year-old and 5-year old apparently have a policy of climbing all over me and demanding a dozen different things whenever they see me reach for the phone.

So I think there's a lot of truth to this writing and it provides an insightful perspective on how a sense of loneliness can gradually creep up on members of our elderly population.  So if you have seniors in the family I ask that you take five minutes out of your hectic day to give this a quick read.

The "Autonomy vs. Protection" Dilemma for the Elderly and their Caregivers

If you have an elderly parent or parents, I highly recommend taking 20 minutes or so to read this New York Times article which came out on Christmas Eve (I finally found some time to read it!).  It is an interesting yet disheartening depiction of a growing dilemma for the elderly in our society.

One of the biggest issues in regards to caring for the elderly, specifially those who are still competent and not suffering from dementia or some other debilitating disease, is protecting them from financial predators who attempt to take advantage of their generosity.  Another big issue is helping the elderly maintain their independence and autonomy in making their decisions if they are still mentally competent.   But trying to address both issues simultaneously can be extremely challenging.

This article chronicles the sad story of 81 year-old Robert J. Pyle of California who was financially comfortable before he was befriended by a single mother who was struggling to get by.  Mr. Pyle then voluntarily loaned enormous amounts of money to her until nearly all of his money was gone, and now the matter is in court.  The troubling aspect of the case is that Mr. Pyle is perfectly competent with no signs of dementia. 

So...does his case get thrown out because he simply made some bad financial decisions?  Or does his characterization as "elderly" mean that he is entitled to some type of legal protection, even if he is perfectly competent?  The article compares the situation to a teenager being able to get out of a legal contract because she is underage, despite the fact that she was fully aware of the consequences of entering the contract.

This is a relatively new and fascinating legal question that will surface more often in the courts as the population continues to age.  But if you're a caregiver on the homefront it's an enormously difficult balance for you and your family to strike between the competing issues of "automony" and "protection".

CT Expands Home Care Program to Under-65 Age Group

The State of Connecticut has launched a pilot program aimed at addressing the needs of those between the ages of 18 and 65 who suffer from neurological diseases, such as Parkinsons and Multiple Sclerosis by keeping them at home instead of subjecting them to expensive nursing home placements. 

The $750,000 program will start off by providing visiting nurses, home health aides and other home care service providers to 50 disabled individuals.  This Connecticut Home Care Program for Disabled is essentially an expansion of the Connecticut Home Care Program for Elders which has provided the same type of assistance for seniors. 

This increased effort to keep the elderly and disabled at home, as long as it can be done safely, is a classic win-win arrangement.  It's a win for the State since a nursing home placement funded by Medicaid dollars is enormously expensive, and it's a win for the individual who would choose the comfort of their own home over a nursing home ten times out of ten.

If an applicant's income exceeds $1,702 per month, then he/she may have to contribute partically for the care.  Asset limits are $20,328 for individuals, $30,492 for married couples.

Click here for more information or call the Department of Social Services at 1-800-445-5394 toll free or 860-424-4904 in the Hartford area.

A Very Scary Blog for Elders

I wish that all of my clients and their children would take just a few minutes to read a new blog called "Steal an Estate".  The June 15th post is a very long and comprehensive "how to" list of instructions on how to financially swindle the elderly, and if you're an elderly person or have elderly parents living alone in the community, it's a downright terrifying read. 

When I first read it I was outraged because it reads like an advertisement to encourage financial predators.  But when you click "about Steal an Estate" in the upper right-hand column you will see that the purpose of the post is to educate readers on the types of strategies a skilled predator will employ against the elderly.

And don't kid yourself...these types of crimes are becoming more and more common as the population gets older and more adult children are moving farther away from their parents.  I wrote about an extreme case in an earlier post.  I've also written about legislation that Massachusetts has passed to address this issue.

So take a peak at this unsettling yet informative blog and take steps to protect yourself or your loved ones.

Caregiver Steals $1.2 Million from Elderly

Caregivers financially taking advantage of the elderly persons they serve has been a growing problem, but this is an extreme example of such predatory practices: 

Miroslaw Zawierucha, a Canadian construction worker, was helping out Richard Henry, a 91 year-old former attorney in Chicago by moving in with him and providing care.  Henry has apparently been suffering from dementia for the last few years.  Eventually, Henry began writing very large checks to Zawierucha, including one for $700,000!  A very large red flag was raised when Henry and Zawierucha went to the bank to make an $800,000 withdrawal which Henry appeared to be confused by.  That's when Henry's niece in California flew to Chicago and came to the rescue by getting the court involved. 

The court's recent ruling was that Zawierucha stole a total of $1.2 million which he must now pay back to Henry, plus $250,000 in punitive damages. Zawierucha is appealing the ruling.

Unfortunately, as the population grows older we will see more and more financial abuse directed at the elderly.  Every family with elderly members living alone in the community must be aware of this issue and contact Connecticut's Protective Services for the Elderly if they suspect any type of abuse.

Tips on How to Talk to Mom or Dad About Leaving Home

Just about all of my elderly clients are understandably adamant about staying in their homes.  I have yet to meet a client who aspires to live in a nursing home.  And I think that trying to keep mom or dad at home as long as possible should be a big goal for the adult children.  But many times living alone creates a dangerous situation for an elderly person.

If you're an adult child and it's time to talk to mom or dad about leaving home, here are some suggestions from AARP about how to manage that difficult conversation:

• Have a plan for the conversation, and try to ease into the topic rather than stating the problem bluntly.
• If the person becomes upset and is clear about not wanting to discuss the topic, let it go and bring it up another time.
• Emphasize that you are concerned for the person's health and safety, and explain how he or she is at risk by living alone.
• Ask the person specifically what he or she wants, doesn't want, and about his or her fears.
• Treat the person as an adult and with respect -- don't talk down to the person like a child.

The Growing Problem of Elder Abuse

One development stemming from the aging of the U.S. population is the growing prevalence of elder abuse.  This type of abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, financial, and sometimes all of the above. 

Sadly, in more than two-thirds of cases, the perpetrator is an adult child of the victim who is serving as a caregiver.  Anyone who has taken care of an older parent will attest to the fact that it is an extraordinarily stressfull and difficult assignment.  Abuse can materialize when the caregiver is ill-prepared, resources are lacking and/or there is a steady and decline in the elderly parent's condition which frustrates the caregiver.

One highly-recommended source of information on this issue can be found at the website for The National Center on Elder Abuse.  In Connecticut, you should refer to the State of Connecticut's Protective Services for the Elderly, which is a branch of the Department of Social Services.  Connecticut also maintains a toll-free Elder Abuse Referral Line at 1-888-385-4225 in-state or 1-800-203-1234 out-of-state.  For after-hours elder abuse emergencies, call the State's infoline at 211.