Just Another Day in Studville...

More Problems with Signs

Back by popular demand! Its time once again to shine the light on more questionable signs found in our area and ask ourselves if there might be a better way of stating something.
Recently, I was actually paying attention to roadside signs in and around town and there were a couple that made me think.
First up is a sign we've all passed countless time while driving on Route 2 through East Hartford. A green sign notes that you are driving on the Veterans of Foreign Wars Memorial Highway. Ah, isn't that nice. The veterans of foreign wars. As opposed to the veterans of domestic wars? Unless I'm mistaken, the last war fought primarily on our soil was the Civil War. Folks, that was over 140 years ago! If any of those veterans were still alive today they would no doubt feel slighted. So aren't all veterans from foreign wars? You know me, I'm all about inclusion.  So while I understand that the highway's namesake is the VFW isn't it about time we change the name and acknowledge all the veterans? I propose we rename Route 2 the Veterans Memorial Highway. By being short and to the point it quickly puts more emphasis on all our veterans and pays them tribute for their service. And it would also save $ in sign printing as it would be smaller and use fewer letters.
Next up: Fairfield Village. No, I'm not talking about the western Connecticut town of Fairfield, which is not a village by the way. Fairfield Village is in Glastonbury. "Huh?" you might ask. Signs for Fairfield Village are sprinkled around Glastonbury. These are new condominiums off Oak Street. These signs state that Fairfield Village is an Adult Community. Oh, isn't that nice. So if I'm 18 years old I'm eligible to live there? An 18 year old is an adult, correct? I'm going to guess they are talking about older adults, like seniors. Oops, can't say "seniors" anymore. That has negative connotations. "Active adults". Whatever that means. Who do they think they are fooling? Not me, that's for sure.

40

The number looms. Forty. It is said that when someone turns forty years old they are "Over the Hill". For runners, another label is applied to someone that is 40 or older. A "Masters" runner. Its supposed to be a nice way of paying respect and tribute to the individual that has been around awhile. But behind this way of honoring older runners is the fact that they are one step closer to the grave and the young guns know it.
Sure, there are some competitive Masters out there. And they may wear the label with pride. Some can regularly beat guys half their age in races. But it does not erase the fact that those over 40 are now categorized. They are "has beens".
I am a little over 2 years away from becoming a Masters runner. That is, if I choose to become one. Perhaps the best approach is to quit running before I turn 40. That way I will never be stuck with such an ugly label.
In fact, it would make perfect sense for me to quit running 2 years from now. You see, it was back in the summer of 2000 that I took up running again. I had run track and cross country in high school and then dropped it like a bad habit upon going to college. A few years after college I picked it up gain for about 6 months for some reason. Then, wisely, stopped running again. But in the summer of 2000, with 2 young children to raise, I felt the biological clock ticking as I approached the ripe of age of 30. I guess I didn't want to turn 30 and be out of shape. So I began running again. And over these past 8 years I have managed to accomplish more than I ever expected in terms of running.
But there comes a time when we need to put an end to things and move on to other interests. Therefore, I'm thinking that another 2 years of competitive running are in me and then I'll call it quits. I don't wish to be a Masters runner. I'll finish up this decade of running and go out on top. 

The problem with swimming

Hopefully you had a chance to catch some of the Olympic Trials for swimming last week. And unless you've been living in a hole you've no doubt heard of Michael Phelps. Among Phelps' accomplishments in the swimming pool are 6 gold and 2 bronze medals from the 2004 Olympics and seven gold medals at last year's World Championships. Trying to keep up with the number of world and American records he has broken is a rather daunting task. While his strengths are the freestyle and butterfly strokes, he has medaled in backstroke and regularly wins the individual medley which involves breaststroke. The man is a very versatile fish. And
therein lies the problem with swimming. Phelps now has the potential to medal in up to 8 events in Beijing.
Now consider that there are 17 swimming events (12 individual + 5 relays)  available to the men in the Olympic Games. He alone could bring back  nearly half the men's gold medals. Does that seem right?
There are no other sports in which one individual could potentially win  so many medals. In track, 4 is about the most and the sprinters/long jumpers have typically had the best shot at that. Other sports with the best potential are skiing, ice skating, and gymnastics. Maybe 3 medals  are possible in those disciplines. For most sports you train for years on end with a slight chance to medal in only one event. But swimming is a potential bonanza for one person to medal in. Why should swimmers have an  opportunity to take home an inordinate amount of medals? It just isn't  fair to the other athletes.
It helps to better understand the swimming events. Backstroke,  breastroke, and butterfly are offered in both the 100 and 200 meter distances. Is there really much of a difference between 100 and 200 meters? I suggest they offer 100 meters and 400 meters for those strokes. That would allow for individuals to be a specialist in either the sprint (100) or distance (400) events. By doing so, you open the sport to other  swimmers and you don't see the same swimmers doubling up in the 100 and  200.
Freestyle is currently offered in the 50, 100, 200, 400, 1500, and 10000 meter distances. That's plain crazy! Again, cut the number of offerings. There ought to be the 100, 400, 1000, and 5000. From 6 events to 4 and a good enough range to allow different types of swimmers a chance to medal.
Now, to address the most awesomest of the swimming events, the individual  medley. The IM requires the individual to swim each of the 4 strokes. The  IM is offered in two distances: 100 or 400 meters. This ought to change to the 400 and 1200 meters. You are already a bad@$$ if you do the IM,  might as well create an opportunity for someone to do the 1200 IM. I propose the winners of the 1200 IM be named King and Queen of the Pool.
Naturally, the relays have to change too. The 4x100 and 4x200 freestyle relays should change to 4x100 and 4X400.
The current 4x100m medley relay needs a counterpart. So I propose a 4x400  medley be added.
These changes would level the playing field. Fewer sprints and more distance, and less of a chance for doubling up. I urge athletes in other sports to take a stand on this and push for fair play.

The problem with 'Hearing Impaired Child' street signs

On my run this morning I noticed a street sign in the Buttonball area stating Hearing Impaired Child. This got me thinking. Do we really need these? Are they serving a valuable purpose?
Its time to explore this issue.
There seems to be a single purpose for these signs: to alert  motorists that a child in that vicinity is hearing impaired and should that child be near the road they may not hear vehicles coming.
Okay. The child isn't blind is he/she? Shouldn't the parent's child have taught him/her to stop and look both ways before crossing the street? Does this child not have enough intelligence to know that they are unable to hear well, therefore they need to rely on their working sense of sight to look first?
When was the last time you relied solely on your sense of sound to  cross a street? Probably never. We don't because sight is a more reliable method of determining when it is safe to cross. Between  today's cars are getting quieter and bicyclists on the roads its very possible that you can't hear something coming towards you  anyway. So use your eyes! 
Another reason against putting up these signs is the stigma that  may come with labeling a neighborhood child with some disability. I'm sure these children wish to feel as "normal" as all the other  kids. And you know there are going to be some kids who may think differently about the hearing impaired child and perhaps exclude them from play. So these signs could be causing mental anguish to these children.
Exactly how much do these signs cost to make and install? Can't the town or state money be better spent by buying these children some cochlear implants? Let's stop this practice of alienating them and instead enable them to hear and include them in our  society.
Can you recall the last time you drove through a neighborhood with  one of these signs and actually saw children playing out front? I can't remember a time. Kids typically play in their backyards where they are out of harm's way. 
Other valid points for getting rid of these signs include:
How do motorists know where the zone ends? What if the child goes outside the zone?
Who is responsible for taking down these signs when the child has  grown up or moved away? I've seen some of these old signs that look like they've been in place since the Nixon administration. They can't possibly still be "children". Unless those parents have been raising one hearing impaired child after another for the last 2 decades I think its safe to remove the old signs.
Its time to be sensible, stop the stigma, reduce costs, and end the practice of these signs.

The problem with bull riding

As you might imagine, I have several problems with bull riding. But these are not PETA-like issues. These bulls aren't going to get mistreated. They have good agents. They decided to get in there and mix it up a little. Since no lightweight cowboy is going to harm them they decided to have some fun throwing these idiots all over the ring. And I applaud the bulls' decision to do just that. Its about time they made a stand. Perhaps they're doing it to avenge the deaths of their Spanish cousins.
Just like with tennis, the problems I have with bull riding are with the governing body. To begin, this activity is too localized. Outside of Texas and the like we can't find good places to ride bulls. How are we in the northeast going to train for this? We can't break their monopoly on good bulls. What the PBR needs to do is set up more training centers and stores selling Stetson hats throughout the land. Perhaps my underlying issue with this is that I look so good in chaps that I want more opportunities to wear them out in public.
Another problem I have is with the length of time for riding the bull. The cowboy's goal is to last 8 seconds [insert your favorite innuendo here]. 8 seconds! That's it. C'mon, let's get real. Even the spotlight-hogging, muscle-headed, mama's boy 100 meter sprinters work longer than that. 8 seconds must be the shortest amount of "work" anyone puts in. This needs to be lengthened to one full minute. Other issues that water-down bull riding are the rider's use of a protective vest and the use of rodeo clowns in the ring. Enough with all this protection. Get tough. I say if you're going to strap yourself to the wild beast then take your chances without any "safety nets". Learn how to fall off without getting hurt and then haul it outta there before the bull gores you.      
Whether or not bull riding is a "sport" won't be settled today. I will, however, share with you this observation: bull riding is a lot like surfing. Both activities are about a lot of young, white  fit-looking guys using their strength and balance to stay on for a long ride. Furthermore, in both activities technique is key and this is accrued over a long period of time in which you learn the idiosyncrasies of the natural forces underneath you. Each rider knows that should they fall off they can get seriously injured.  Also, the technology behind each activity has changed little over time. Lastly, its in the mind of both surfers and bull riders that if they make their rides look good their chances of scoring with the babes increases dramatically.
So there it is. The bull riding governing body needs to listen to these suggestions. Spread the love throughout the nation and get rid of the mamby-pambyness to toughen it up.

The problem with tennis

Actually, I have several problems with tennis and I think they ought to be addressed here and now before it gets any worse.
Remember, this is a sport in which "love" means nothing. If you have love in tennis, you haven't scored yet. To many that is very discouraging.
Notice that I do consider tennis a sport. I come from  tennis-playing parents, played plenty of tennis myself, and watched enough matches to tell you that this activity can be very physically demanding. You don't see overweight people lasting long in tennis. There's lot of running, bending, swinging and so forth that you simply won't last if out of shape. So that's good news for tennis.
That being said, tennis has some glaring shortcomings that makes it just look bad. For starters, tennis is probably the only sport in which a player and his/her coach are not allowed to communicate during a match. Why is this? In all other sports, the coach is being a coach. He/she coaches the player on how to improve their game, what to do next, and what to look for. But this isn't allowed in tennis. So the coach isn't able to be a full-time coach. The player-coach relationship is essential to sports and yet in tennis this is broken. You also see a similar break in player-coach communication in golf championships. And since golf isn't a sport (it isn't physically demanding, you can be out of shape, etc.) this puts tennis in the same boat as golf. And that is NOT where you want to be as a tennis player. Distance yourself with golf.
My next issue is that as a tennis player you life consists of one tournament after another. That's all it is. Play in a tournament here this weekend. Then player in a tournament there next weekend. Name another sport in which play is only tournament after tournament. Keep in mind that golf is just like this. Again, you don't want to be life golf because golf isn't a sport, its a hobby.
My last major issue with tennis is the use of ballboys and ballgirls during matches. These are athletes, for godsake! Let them pick up their own balls from the net or side of the court. Getting their own tennis balls would make the game even more physically demanding, which is good. We can't allow for this laziness. Either pick it up yourself or go home. Tennis suffers from these servants getting the ball for the players.
Therefore, I have three recommendations to improve the sport of tennis:
1.) Players should be set up in leagues like they do for other sports. They should have different divisions and there be more frequent non-tournament matches between players. Then cut down on the number and frequency of tournaments.
2.) Allow coaches to be down alongside the court and able to provide tips to the player during a game.
3.) Get rid of ballboys and ballgirls.

Poets are worthless

Allen Tate. Ever heard of him? Neither had I. Apparently he was an American poet, essayist, and social commentator. Which means he didn't work hard and never amounted to anything. Need more proof? He was twice married and divorced. Then he had an affair with a nun! Egad! Don't these people have any morals? That's the thing with poets.
So why do I mention Allen Tate? He had something to say about poets that I think is telling.
"Poets are mysterious, but a poet when all is said is not much more mysterious than a banker."
What he's saying is that they have easy hours and take other people's money.

Never trust a poet.
They don't know what real work is.
They aren't any more qualified to give presidential endorsements than I am.

Running errands

From time to time I put my running skills to use and accomplish other things. This morning, for example, I drove our family minivan up to the car shop before 6 am so that it could be serviced. This saves my wife from having to arrange a ride back home if she were to drop it off herself. After filling out the envelope and leaving my keys I set out on my run back home. But first I ran over to the library carrying a book and video that needed to be returned. After dropping the items in the slots I continued my run. Look at what I've already accomplished today!
I encourage everyone to try and do more on their runs. Need to return a movie to Blockuster? Run it up town. Time to redeem all those bottles and cans for 5 cents each? Bag 'em, throw 'em in a wagon and hook yerself up like the beast of burden you aspire to be. Run 'em uptown and you'll be making money in the process. On the return trip you'll have an empty wagon that's just waiting to be filled with groceries. Do a little shopping for the family and haul the goods home. Your spouse will surely thank you for saving them a trip to the store. Have some envelopes or packages to mail out? Carry them yourself to the post office and shame the letter carriers in the process. Its fun to humiliate others by demonstrating what we can do because we're fit, multitasking runners. Cars are for sissies.

Running "Naked"

I've been telling my teammates in the past that the average American distance runner today is slower than our counterparts from 30 years ago. And I've shared my opinions on why this is. Someday they will be enlightened and acknowledge I am correct.  Until that day comes I will continue my crusade to denounce many entrapments of modern life. Some of the evil devices that many modern runners rely heavily upon are the Garmin Forerunner, Nike+, GPS units and MP3 players.  The simplicity and beauty of going for a run has been corrupted by the adoption of personal technology devices.
As this video clip from The Onion demonstrates, we need to go back to a simpler time.
To help promote running without personal devices I suggest two thins:
1. Refrain from buying any of these personal electronic sports devices this holiday season. Your loved ones don't need them and neither do you. 
2. Let's declare February 14, 2008 as the first Run "Naked" Day. Please, keep your clothes on or you'll likely to have some frostbite. The quotes indicate that you should be free of devices and feel naked. No watches, GPS units or other electronics.
Why February 14th? No, its not because its Valentine's Day. It happens to be the birthday of ENIAC. Many observe February 14, 1946 as the dawn of the Information Age. So it seems fitting that we shun these evil devices and revert to simpler times on that day.
Enjoy running without devices. Run "naked" and run free.