Just Another Day in Studville...

Avast!

Ahoy! 'tis time once again fer Talk Like A Pirate Day.
T'day let us be thinking bout t' sport of runnin. Arrgh. Might a shipmate take up runnin when he not be plunderin' and lootin' the scallywags on the high seas? Would a gentleman o' fortune train fer a marathon? Would he ask fer shore leave t' train in th' heat of an oppressive isle?
Nay! There ain't no scurvy mate out there that has a secret passion t' run. Methinks a mate would rather spend his time doin a lot o' drinkin' an' lootin' an' then show up on th' big tide wi' his cutlass in hand an' force th' marathon race director t' give th' lad a time under 3 hours. That be a hornswaggle. If a fella wants somethin' he dasn't work hard fer 't! Marathon trainin' be fer bilge rats. Besides, runnin any distance be for landlubbers. Us pirates be at home on a schooner upon the sea. T' furthest a buccanneer ortin' ta run be across th' boat to hoist the mainsail when cap'n does shout t' orders. And ye best be forgettin th' fancy electrolytes. Aye, a mate drinks rum. Yo-ho to a good grog! Yarrr!

Team sweaters anyone?

Imagine the looks my teammates would have had on their faces at Christmas when they opened my present to them and found a beautiful new running sweater. That's right, a running sweater. I came pretty close last night to being able to provide the team with sweaters. And seeing how they would have been made from local wool it would have been an environmentally-conscious decision as well. Think about how a natural, breathable fiber may have felt to run in during the winter. Lightweight, warm and breathable. Wouldn't that have been unique? We could even have our team logo emblazened on our wool sweaters. How many other running teams wear wool sweaters during their winter runs? We could have started a new trend! The envy of all.
Alas, twas not to be. My keen eyesight, quick reflexes and superior driving skills removed this possibility. Let me explain.
Last night shortly after 9 pm I was driving my oldest daughter home on Route 17 and we were near ye Olde Cider Mill. I suddenly noticed in the darkness near the edge of the road some movement. Since they were large, lighter shaded animals I initially thought they were deer about to cross the street. As we got closer I quickly realized these were not deer but rather sheep! 4 sheep were about to venture into the busy road and I was on a collision course with them. I braked and swerved to the left to avoid a wooly bully run-in with Ovis aries. The car directly behind me also veered left and avoided the calamity.
When was the last time you nearly ran into a herd of sheep in the suburbs? These sheep must have escaped from the farm at ye Olde Cider Mill and were now trying to have a good night out on the town. Upon getting home and telling my wife the story she called the police and in between giggling reported to the dispatcher something to the effect of "Sheep are on the loose." The police indicated they would send someone out.
So I'm sorry I won't have team sweaters for everyone this winter but I guess I did a good thing by avoiding the sheep. We'll have to find another source for our natural fiber running sweaters.
What exactly is mutton?
I don't know and I didn't want to find out.

When to quit

My father instilled in me the motto "Never give up". I've had to rely on those inspirational words from time to time just as Luke was reminded of his destiny from Obi Wan's parting words.
Let's not forget Vince Lombardi's immortal words that “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”
I have never had to pull a DNF (Did Not Finish) in a race and hopefully will never have to. I can understand when a DNF might be the best option, though. If someone is in a lot of pain and continuing to run might make matters worse and/or cause permanent injury then it makes sense to bail out with a DNF. That would be a tough decision to make in the thick of a race. A lot is at stake.
On the other hand, if things aren't going well on a training run there's a lot less to lose and perhaps more to gain by calling it quits. Live to fight another day.
What confounds me today is John Edwards decision to quit the Presidential race. I had been hoping Edwards would build some momentum and be in the running. Alas, it appears the Democratic field is down to Clinton and Obama.
Was Edwards right to call it quits before Super Tuesday? Should he have stayed in for another week and then decide? Were things that dire for him that this was the time to pull out? I'm calling him a quitter. He's lost my respect and admiration for throwing in the towel so early.
So who will I cast a vote towards now? It certainly ain't gonna be that conniving, self-serving b!tch, I'll say that much. I need to look into McCain's platform a bit more...

Best (and Worst) of 2007

Before we close the books on 2007 I think its worth giving one final look  to the year's highlights and perhaps a few of the low points. So without further ado, I offer these up: 

Strangest non-running workout:
Jay, on April 23rd. For wearing his new wetsuit during a swim at the indoor pool.

Most embarrassing training run moment:
Mike, on August 29th. For jogging along at such a pedestrian pace and  listening to his MP3 player that Rick was able to catch up to him  unawares.

Best display of manliness:
Jay, on December 23rd. For taking a full-body plunge into the icy  waters of the Connecticut River after a long run.

Worst display of manliness:
Tie: Mike and Jay, June 22nd and 23rd. For refusal to drink any alcohol and going to bed before sundown all weekend because they were all worried about how it would affect their training.

Most impressive month of training:
Mike, month of August. For logging over 50 hours of running in  preparation for the 50K ultra.

Most impressive block of training:
Jay, for the first 6 months of the year in training for the Ironman.  Run, cycle, swim. Repeat.   

Best decision regarding running gear:
Mike, for purchasing trail shoes for off-road and snowy conditions.

Best decision regarding cycling gear:
Jay, for purchasing a Trek Equinox.

Worst decision regarding cycling gear:
Mike, for not purchasing a decent, respectable helmet.

Worst decision regarding non-athletic gear:
Rick, June 22nd and 23rd. For failing to bring a warm sleeping bag to  the Adirondacks with nightly temps in the 30s.

Most impressive run performance:
Jay, on May 20th. For his Shamrock Duathlon 5K splits of 17:06 and  18:02 before and after the cycling leg.

Most impressive cycling performance:
Mike, June 23rd. For cycling 2 loops (about 110 miles) of the Ironman  course with Jay even though he was under-prepared for such a distance.

Most impressive swimming performance:
Rick, May and June. For 5 early morning swims in a lake without a  wetsuit.

Out with the old, in with the new

Unlike my training buddies who are currently re-living their glory days of high school with visits to their old stomping grounds, I am staying put these holidays in my new "hometown". Although I have made Glastonbury my residence for the past 14 years or so it still feels like I'm new to town. There are still places to explore, people to meet, and things to understand. Its a great town to be a runner or cyclist in as well since it has such a young, active population.
Just as things change so do people. As this past Christmas has revealed, Mike received a GPS device that will allow him to track his runs down to a hundreth of a mile and his pace to the millisecond. Not sure why all this is necessary but time will tell if this is beneficial or just a waste of money.
As for me, I received an iPod Nano for Christmas. Perhaps you have heard of these things. A lot of music stored on  something so small is rather amazing. Now don't get the idea that I will use this on my runs. I have no plans to block out the world and listen to music while running. But I do have some piece of 21st Century technology and I'm learning how to use it.
Is it best to cling on to elements of the past or move forward and embrace a new way of living? Perhaps a combination of the two the best method. 2007 is all but behind us but let's not forget the lessons we learned as we enter a new year with a clean slate.

Holiday PSA

Despite my best efforts the holidays are once again upon us. To help  you get through this difficult time of year in one piece and perhaps  even in good physical shape I offer up a few tips.

1. Learn martial arts. This skill will help you defend your home from any invasion from a pudgy old bearded freak that tries coming down your chimney in a red suit to "deliver presents". This man's activities in the middle of the night are very suspect and you should protect your children from him. Anyone that runs a sweatshop of elves and forces wild deer to pull a  heavy sled should be arrested. So start your martial arts training now  to make each limb of your body a lethal weapon. Take him down if you  get the chance. Be a hero to someone.

2. Maybe its too late for this advice but you should avoid licking all  those Christmas card envelopes. As all Seinfeld fans recall, George  Costanza's fiance Susan died of a glue overdose from licking too many  envelopes. Don't take the risk. Use a sponge to dampen the envelope's  glue.

3. Unless you are one of those anti-social types that have their own business or practice then you will be likely be forced into the company holiday party. People will be there. People have cold germs  this time of year.
My advice? Be the first one in the food line to get  some grub before everyone else starts breathing on it and touching the  food. Load up a big plate of food because you don't want to go back and get the germy seconds. In fact, load up two plates for yourself.
What kind of food is best? Go for the broccoli, cabbage, asparagus and similar foods. Why? No, its not because these are healthy choices. Its because these are known to cause flatulence.  Remember, those morning runs in the winter are bitter cold and you  need a way to keep yourself warm. Having your own powerful internal combustion engine and trapping the output in your running clothes is  key to surviving those long runs. Trust me on this.   

4. Lastly, you need to prepare for Festivus. As you know it is celebrated  each year on December 23 and the most important aspect is the "Feats of  Strength". Do NOT go into the Feats of Strength without a proper warmup  and stretching routine. Take the time to prepare both mentally and  physically for this challenge. If you are the head of the household  you can't afford to be taken down. Good luck to you.

Winter PSA

Unless you've been out of state on business for the last several weeks you are well aware that winter is upon us now in Connecticut. Therefore it is prudent that we review some safety tips to get you through this most horrible of seasons in one piece.

Avoid using a snow blower. Those gas-guzzlers pollute the environment with fumes and sound. Instead, invest in a few sturdy shovels and, if done properly, you can have yourself a good workout. But you must follow some simple rules: bend your legs and lift with the legs. Do NOT lift with your back; it causes a lot of strain. You may look silly and feel awkward but hey, your neighbors have already formed an opinion of you after seeing you wearing those running tights. (Don we now our gay apparel!) For big storms, shovel periodically so it isn't an overwhelming amount at the end. Be sure to take frequent breaks and keep a good rhythm to the shoveling. Maintaining a good heart is key as is alternating shoveling from right and left sides.

Going sledding? If you must pull that lazy kid back up the hill then I have a very important tip for you. Do NOT angle your feet when walking up hill to get better traction. Go up straight with your toes pointed in. Otherwise your knees are twisted and this over-rotation can lead to tendonitis. Trust me on this one - I made the mistake a few years ago and paid the price.

Running on bad conditions? Invest in some good trail shoes. I use mine for the snow and slush conditions. The extra grip of trail shoes works well when footing is iffy. But for the ice your best bet is to fashion some screw shoes. Take an older pair of running shoes and follow these instructions.
Also, when running during or immediately after a snowstorm I advise wearing bright colors (red, orange, etc.) to contrast with the white background so drivers can see you more clearly. Be extra alert of drivers as they may slide on the bad road conditions. Don't take safety for granted. Always yield to snow plows. Give plow drivers plenty of room to do their work. And don't try to win a game of "chicken", ok? You'll lose to a snow plow every time.

Thinking of your health? Be sure to drink hot cocoa instead of hot chocolate. The former is full of antioxidants while the latter is full of sugar. Done properly, your spouse should have it waiting for you when you come inside from a rigorous shoveling session.

Lastly, I can't warn you enough about protecting your ears and brain by avoiding The Chipmunks song and" Feliz Navidad" this holiday season. They are easily the two most annoying songs to be wrought upon human beings.

This writer is On Strike

Sorry folks that it has to come down to this. But I'm going on strike and will stand with fellow writers on the picket lines.
My thoughtful posts here have been unappreciated by the masses and the operator of this weblog has not met any of my simple requests. You, the reader, have demonstrated a complete lack of respect for my contributions by not submitting a single comment. Its as if I'm talking to myself. I had a feeling this would happen. Blogs are dead. Its a silly medium. I should never have allowed myself to get sucked into this blog mess.
And the operator of this blog hasn't helped. If I offer a sound argument he quickly refutes it with some dribble. Look, if I wanted to hear a different opinion I would be arguing with my wife. I don't need this sort of nonsense here. I thought this weblog would allow me free reign to spout my ideas, however "nonsensical" they may be. But NO! The Man is always trying to keep you down.
So that's how its going to be. I'm yet another writer on strike.
That means you won't hear my exciting conclusion to the series Secrets of a PR Man. Tough. I gotta take a stand.